I want you in my arms like you’re in my heart, you dwell in my mind and I want you in my life, I miss your sight, I want you here, closer than I am to you in your dreams, I want you beside me, so close to me that no space between us remains empty, no atom of air separates us, I want you closer than the air filling my lungs, your sight should kiss my face before the sun’s rays, darling I want you each and every day, every lifetime, I want every inch of your soul to be all mine and only mine.
—I’m madly yours and you’ve to be madly mine. Sparkandashes
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”— Ambrose Bierce (via quotemadness)
*His blunt* turns out our pets own us. We clean their shit, we buy and bring them food, we bathe them, we succumb to their every need, and we UwU over the cutest stuff they do. As we should. We are, in fact, the pets.
someone: hey what do you think of (paranormal topic)
me, wise in the ways of the unexplained: well its either real or its fake
6i:
You’re worth a handwritten letter, a random trip at night to the beach, a painting that says more than a thousand words.
In the early morning hours, roll over. Find me sleeping next to you, under the covers, my nightshirt rolled up over my ass. Softly grope at me, pushing the fabric even higher. Careful not to wake me, nip and caress at my exposed curves. Explore my moistening slit with your fingers. When I slightly stir, secure my arms above my head and continue teasing. Rub your stiffening self against my smooth skin as your fingers enter me, making me gasp more awake.
Go for it. Whether it ends good or bad, it was experience.
i want you to feel safe with me. i want you to be able to be yourself when you’re around me. i want you to feel comfortable when you’re with me. i want to be the person you turn to when things get overwhelming. i want to be the person that can make you laugh during moments when you cant even form a smile. i want to be your one and only.
Do you ever just kind of feel like driving your car forever or into the ocean and ripping all the pictures down and sobbing on the floor and calling out of work and never getting out of bed and sleeping forever and all of those things at once but also getting better but you can’t and so you don’t know what to do and so you’re having a crisis but you can’t have a crisis because you’re trying to get better and you don’t know what this is because it just feels like everything is too much and everyone is like talk to me what’s wrong and you can’t because nothing is wrong and you have nothing to specifically pin it on and you could talk about lots of things but it’s nothing specifically necessarily wrong in that moment or consuming your thoughts so that feels wrong and stupid and you’re trying you’re trying but you’re not trying hard enough and you’re always crying and always angry and you just want to be better and nothing is working and you just need help but what kind of help do you need or would you be willing to accept and if you accepted it would it help because it’s never helped before and I just want to run away from everything and have no one know me and I want to be a different person or maybe drown myself in the ocean I’ve always loved the ocean please help me I don’t know how to deal with this everything is so wrong and fucked up.
I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. I am my mother crying in the bathroom. I cross my legs and smile at my doctor. He doesn’t smile back. He asks why I took all those pills. I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. I am nothing but the sound of birds rustling in autumn leaves. I am not my father. Anything but my father. He is the crunch of autumn leaves. The garbage disposal. My mother is the woman drowning in the bathtub and I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. I am her shrieks. I wear pink blush and smile at my doctor. I took those pills because I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. My mother is drowning. My father is destructing and I can’t stop dripping. Can’t you see, my mothers shrieks is my grief. My mother stands outside the hospital room crying. I’m wearing a hospital gown and I watch my father scrunch up his fists. I am not my fathers anger. But I understand it. I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. In the same bathroom my mother cries in. In the same bathroom I tried to die in. I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping.
— Hannah Green, from “A Conversation With My Doctor.” ©
Here’s some relationship or friendship advice if you know someone with BPD:
1. Learn their triggers. Their triggers tend to be Interpersonal things btw, as their trauma tends to have been interpersonal. So something you say or do could trigger an intense fear of abandonment or a fear of being treated cruelly again or not being cared for, etc.
2. Respect their triggers whether or not you understand them. It doesn’t matter if you think they’re making a big deal out of nothing. It’s real to them.
3. Learn what they need you to do when they’re splitting. Thats going to help you a lot with knowing what to do when it happens and, most importantly, not making it worse. Do they need you to just reassure them? Do they need you to just hold space for them? One thing that usually helps is to remain calm, not escalate the situation by matching their energy and to remind them that you care.
4. Learn how to tell when they’re splitting: learn to recognise the signs so you can know when it’s happening, which can help things not to escalate even further in the moment when it does.
5. Don’t gaslight them when you’re arguing or when they’re splitting. You honestly shouldn’t do this with anyone. Don’t invalidate or minimise their feelings, even if you can’t understand them.
6. Don’t invalidate their feelings or thoughts when they’re upset about something legitimate by telling them that it’s just their illness causing them to act this way or feel this way. Don’t invalidate their genuine reasons to be upset with you by saying it must be because they’re splitting.
These things aren’t always true and they’re really stigmatizing. Someone’s mental illness is not a scapegoat for everything you dislike or disagree with about them, or an excuse for you to not take accountability for when you cause genuine harm.
7. Learn. There is a lot of information out there, particularly from people with BPD. Learn more about the condition and what it feels like and why someone with it may act in a certain way. Don’t become complacent with the belief that you know everything either– always keep learning more or refreshing what you know.
8. Take time to take care of yourself. It’s okay to set boundaries around what you’re able to deal with– but make sure to clearly communicate those boundaries so they know.
Be honest with yourself about whether or not this is a relationship / friendship that you can handle, and base this especially on research of the illness and any upfront realities they disclose to you about what it’s going to be like and what they need. It’s okay if it’s not something you can handle.
But not being honest with yourself and them about this can be really harmful to them as it can activate fears of abandonment when you do realize its something you can’t handle later on.
9. Be kind. Do your best to be kind to them. People with BPD generally have not experienced a lot of kindness and having to experience even more insensitivity or hurtfulness can be difficult for their recovery.
If anyone with BPD has any more, please add them!
You tell me to be happy
So i smile and I grin
But i can’t escape these feelings
That are killing me within
I try to push them further
And to the back of my mind they go
But the nights are getting harder,
Harder than you’ll ever even know
I’m trying to get better my love
But my mind hurts me a lot
So please don’t let me go just yet
Because you’re everything I’ve got.
Either I tell you my feelings
And you think insane
Or I keep them inside
Where they’re rotting my brain.
Complete my heart and leave it whole,
You’re the most beautiful thing that’s feeding my soul.